What I decided to do on my First Day Off Work...

I haven't written here for ages! Let's remedy that.

I received the results of my MA thesis 'Defending the Land, Defending the Faith: Ian Paisley and the Rhetoric of Protestant Defence' last week - I was thrilled to pass with a First Class Honours. God has been so good to me. Last year was so busy and even though I spent the summer researching and writing, travelling to Belfast, examining archives in the Linenhall Library, PRONI and the James Hardimann Library, writing drafts and re-writing drafts in Mom's office which she very kindly lent to me, I was not at all sure that it would be successful. The topic is controversial and I was ever aware of the fine line between fact and bias. Even when I submitted it on the last Friday in August, it was with much trepidation.

Last Thursday I arrived home from work and found an A4 envelope awaiting me in the kitchen. It had a blankly ominous look and sure enough, the postmark confirmed that it was from NUIG. Without allowing myself to think, I raced down the hall away from the curious eyes of my little sister and ripped open the letter in the silence of an empty sitting-room. Feverishly my eyes sped to the final mark at the bottom of the page. I saw nothing else except the words 'First Class Honours'.  Moments later I was babbling incoherently down the phone 'I'm so happy, I'm so happy, I'm so happy', and wrapping my arms around bemused siblings, who reacted to my hugely uncharacteristic behavior with slight bewilderment. I am normally not prone to such outbursts! But yes, such a relief. I'm still on cloud nine. 

I was like this for a while. But now it's all DONE:)

Other important things:

• I'm teaching and loving it! As well as German and English, I'm taking on Basketball responsibilities, and helping with Athletics coaching. And I used to hate sport as a child.
• I'm campaigning for a NO vote in the upcoming Children's Referendum. I will be posting more info about that very soon.

To Stay or Not To Stay: Cardinal Brady and Clerical Abuse

Recently I was asked to speak on Radio Ocean FM concerning the recent Cardinal Brady scandal. Below is a brief synopsis of my 'developing' thoughts on the issue. 

Without a doubt, anyone who has watched the recent BBC program concerning Irish clerical abuse can only have deep sympathy for those who suffered such awful trauma. Specially harrowing is the fact that this abuse came from people, figures, individuals for whom they had the utmost respect and trust. There are several aspects to this situation that must not be ignored however, especially when it is considered in the context of current anti-religious developments in Ireland.

Cardinal Brady, the primate of Ireland, was and is simply a servant of the Roman Catholic Church. In that sphere, 30 years ago, he completed his duties, observed the law of the Church and acted submissive to his superiors as was expected of him. In accordance with the fact that he was dealing with a serious abuse case, he promptly and diligently followed the guidelines of canon law -  the dictates of the Catholic Church -  to the best of his ability. We have no reason to doubt this. The incriminating documents record the work of a conscientious man. In this respect he was dedicated to his Church – he chose not to tell the Guards, but such an action would be completely unexpected and out of order for him. He states himself that he acted as he thought 'most effectively to end the abuse' and he allocated 'the case to the clergyman most powerful to deal with it'. 

 What we ought not to do here is jump to a subjective conclusion and accuse Cardinal Brady of not acting correctly. Instead it is very important that we look at the Church as a body objectively – and observe that the problem lies with the institution of the Catholic Church. It is not established solely on Scriptural principles. Its law book is not the Christian Bible, but rather the dictates of tradition and the Church fathers. This is an institution which regards Brady, not as a free individual, at liberty to obey the dictates of his conscience, but rather as a servant, duty bound to the law of the Church, its traditions and rituals. The Church has become the conscience of its people; it has power that God never gave to it, and this power sadly to say has turned to terrible abuse, evident in the actions of individuals such as Brendan Smyth. 

Cardinal Brady did not have the freedom to exercise his own moral judgement, to be led by what his conscience may have been saying. Instead he followed the rules of his Church and considered such adherence enough. 

  Should Brady resign? I would not take it upon myself to exercise moral authority over him and demand him to go, as many politicians and media presenters are currently doing - he's a servant of the Church, he did what was required of him and it's his own business. He has done his duty as a Catholic priest. We need to move the focus away from him and instead look at the institution of the Church which allowed this all to happen. If we take issue with what happened, we need to leave the Catholic Church. It is not an institution which is about to radically change. 

 I come from a Catholic background myself, but left the Church, am now a Christian. I have the freedom to obey my conscience - a freedom which was claimed at the Reformation when the Reformers rebelled against a system that chained them to rules and traditions, and embraced the hallowed privilege of conscience. I am free to act as I believe God would want me to act, and to live my life as an individual, accountable to God – not captive to any religion but beholden only to Him. If I had been in Brady's situation, I would have followed my conscience, as an individual before God. My loyalty is to God. Brady's loyalty is the the Church of Rome. 

  High Moral Ground

 Having said all this however, I do think we need to be very careful of the current 'witchhunt' into the Catholic Church. There are people pointing the finger in a very righteous and indignant way today whose own reactions in a similar situation could be very dubious. With actions like these, one always needs to be objective and think for themselves – What is really going on here? 

 Miriam O'Callaghan, Prime Time Presenter, for example, can appear so empathetic and caring now when she interviews Brendan Bolan, the victim of clerical abuse; however the question must be asked, if a serious issue regarding some victim in a politically incorrect, unpopular situation was brought to her attention as an individual in a position of authority, what would she do about it? Would she whistleblow? 

 Where does she get the authority to pronounce a moral judgement upon Seán Brady and call upon him to leave his post? 

 Whilst I don't agree with the Catholic Church, I do wonder if Enda Kenny and Eamonn Gilmore are trying their best to remove any vestige of a spiritual belief in God from the Irish people – are they seeking to become our new gods? This current scandal is yet another blow at the Catholic Church, seeking to remove it from its position of spiritual guidance; our current government want to remove religion from schools, legalise same-sex marriages, provide abortion services, forbid us from exercising conscientious objection, force us to pay a tax on our own homes and command us to give up our national sovereignty to a faceless European institution that few people understand. We need to be very careful of falling for everything the Kenny/Gilmore duo say. Let us think things out for ourselves. Are the accusers of Cardinal Brady really concerned about child abuse when we look at the sad state of many families in our nation today, and consider the upsetting levels of abuse amongst children in state care or are they more concerned with promoting secularism, breaking down our standards, and replacing the God we have with a new god of their own making? Words like moral credibility and moral authority are bandied about in serious tones, but it is of extreme importance that we look beyond the faces of politicians and TV presenters and discern what really is the reason behind their words.

Why I Study History

The Relationship Between History and Policy

NUIG MA History Seminar Presentation, 27 March 2012 

 The appointment of a special board of eleven historians to help the government prepare appropriately for the upcoming Decade of Centenaries, including the Ulster Covenant and the Easter Rising, is evidence that the study of history is still of considerable importance in the running of a country. (Once I used to think that you would celebrate one of those and protest in whatever appropriate or inappropriate way at the other - and anyone who attempted to celebrate both was a hypocrite...but anyway.) 

Historians can assist in deconstructing conceptions of past occurrences which are open to different interpretations, they can examine current popular belief concerning topical issues and they can assess how 'our actions and thoughts are conditioned by the heritage of the past', and are thus not as valid, as rational, and as necessary as we believe they are. Quentin Smith says that 'the stories we tell about ourselves are always and unavoidable partial...it becomes the task of the historian to ensure that such stories are not uncritically accepted.' By doing this historians can, undoubtedly, make a valuable contribution to public policy: for example John Bew's work in examining the role of Ulster Presbyterians in the 1798 rebellion reminds one that the version of irrational, sectarian Unionism that exists in Northern Ireland today may not be the only interpretation of Unionism in existence, and thus encourages government to consider more deeply the original intentions of Unionism. My own study of Thomas Davis' version of a united Irish nation which firmly valued both Catholics and Protestants, and also of the Orange Order in Northern Ireland which became the final refuge of an increasingly alienated sector of Ulster society opened my understanding, and indeed developed my criticism, of policy development in Northern Ireland. 

 In such deconstruction however, caution must always be exercised as deconstruction must always be accompanied with some form of reconstruction. Stefan Berg's words, 'It seems wiser to assume that society would be better off with weak and playful identities rather than those underpinned by a strong sense of a common national past', are alarming; just as a human being needs a strong sense of self-identity to perform to his or her full potential, so too does a nation. Public policy formation should start with this identity; historians should not simply be given the task of justifying already-created unpalatable policies to make them appeal to the nation. Historians can take current situations and make analogical comparisons with similar occurrences in the past, thus educating those who formulate public policy. 

One needs to be aware of the danger of looking for direct parallels in the past and thus predicting the future; successful use of history to guide current policy development will take into account the otherness of the past, the uniqueness of the present, and will at the same time 'reclaim some of the richness of past experiences'. A good example of this is Christopher Andrews examination of the 'Holy Terror'; he outlines that while US intelligence believes that the current war on terrorism, sparked by 9/11, is dealing with an entirely new adversary and thence requires unprecedented methods4, Early Modern Europe was also a society plagued by Muslim fanaticism in the form, for example, of Barbary ghuzat who saw themselves as religious warriors. A historical examiniation of this phenomenon ought to increase awareness for those involved in fighting against it. Likewise the study of economic history can increase understanding of the current recession; a recent study I carried out on the development of Antwerp in the sixteenth century outlined how the entrepreneurship of immigrants into the area was encouraged by the traditional stress put on 'values such as achievement, competition, toleration, industry, thrift and calculation'; these values had created a pro-enterprise culture'. As today's policy-makers seek to encourage entrepreneurship in Ireland, a consideration of successful enterprise cultures would no doubt be useful. 

NUIG MA class 2011-2012

 Personally I believe that historians have a vital role to play in the formation of public policy; much depends upon their own historical beliefs however, and it would be hoped that in Ireland those who have remained loyal to the essence of Irish identity would be the ones who have the greatest impact on the policy formation.

Called or Driven?

What you do v. What you are

He had nothing at all. His home was the wilderness, his food came from the wild and his clothes were the simplest one could find. He knew who he wasn't: 'I am not the Christ', and instead identified himself as just a voice – 'I am the voice of one crying in the wilderness, Make straight the way of the Lord.'

And yet the people came and crowded around him as he stood and preached to them on the banks of the River Jordan. Thousands gathered, hungry, seeking, eager to hear these strange words, words they had never heard before. They came forward to be baptised; men followed him and became his disciples, listening intently to everything he said. This was a poor man, from a quiet humble home where he had lived with two elderly parents, suddenly thrust into the limelight, the news on the lips of every dweller in Israel. What an easy step it would have been to allow them to think that he was indeed the Messiah, and that deliverance would come through him!

But he knew the truth; solmenly, soberly, with an air of understanding he moved through the grateful, listening crowds, eyes roving the horizon for the Messiah whose coming he had been called to herald. Then one day he saw him; as the sun beamed down on the brown earth of the desert, and the people lined up to be baptised in the muddy waters of the Jordan, he looked and saw Him appear. Reverently, as silence fell on the watching crowds, he moved towards Him and spoke: 'Behold the Lamb of God which taketh away the sin of the world.'

Later, not long before imprisonment, his disciples came to him, disturbed and upset about Christ's actions amongst the people, which had resulted in their master's popularity decreasing. He shared with them the secret of his life's calling - 'A man can receive nothing except it be given him from heaven...He must increase but I must decrease.' Perhaps they stared at him, not understanding this man, who so easily accepted the way Christ 'took over' his ministry. Maybe he said quietly, 'You see, I get my joy, not in what I do, but in who I am – in God. I was called for a purpose, and I fulfilled my calling – Christ has come. Therefore is my joy fulfilled.

He died an ignominous death; but today we remember this humble man as John the Baptist. His name has lived on through the pages of history as the man who prepared the way for the coming of Christ. Why John? – God called and he responded. The call demanded submission to God's ways, God's methods and God's criteria of success. And John was willing to accept those terms no matter what the cost to him in pain or loneliness.

I want to be like John. Having listened to God's call, I can know my mission. It may demand courage and discipline, of course, but now the results are in the hands of the Caller. Whether I increase or decrease is His concern, not mine. To order my life according to the expectations of myself and others, and to value myself according to the opinions of others is to be a driven person. But to operate on the basis of God's call is to live the fulfilled life of a called person.

The Class Rep Fiasco: Is there a Solution?

published as an opinion piece in the latest edition of NUIG's student paper

At the last Student Council, held on the 28th of February, no decisions could be made because the meeting did not reach quorum: the SU has 320 class reps on its records for this academic year, yet not even 16% could make it that evening. We waited patiently in the shadowy expanse of the Cairnes Theatre and slowly a few faithfuls straggled in through the creaking doors. But it wasn’t enough.
It wasn’t that we didn’t have anything to discuss. There were the troublesome ‘non-NUIG related Rag Week’ events to be considered and there were important motions relating to the Irish economic crisis and a Code of conduct for Exec members to be voted upon. However we ended up having simply an informal discussion which was interesting, but absolutely useless as nothing concrete was achieved, and everything was postponed.

It looks like Class Reps just aren’t interested in the Students Union anymore. The question is, were they ever interested? The Students Union represents the students at university level, and the work of class representatives – the real workers at grassroots level - is essential to an effective democratic process. Only the conscientious, dedicated engagement of class reps with their Students Union will achieve any sort of positive change in the quality of life we experience on the campus of NUIG. The Students Union are our voice at the board meetings, at the academic councils, at Udaras na hOllscoil. Without us, the 320 Class Reps, the Students Union is not a representative Union, but rather a group of individuals who will make decisions based on what they assume we want – or in some cases unfortunately on what they want.

Recently NUIG’s Education Officer Conor Healy, aware of the alarming disinterest of class reps in engaging with their union, carried out a survey in an attempt to identify the root of this problem. He discovered that most classes were quite happy with their class reps; ‘they organised class parties, they worked with lecturers when problems arose and performed their day-to-day tasks well’. However a lack of information about and awareness of the SU was highlighted; reps felt that they weren’t integrated into the Union and that attending SU Council was not relevant to them. The Council was also deemed as being ‘not fun’; meetings were described as ‘fragmented’ and reps said they wouldn’t go back because they were afraid of all the arguing that went on.

So the system needs to be changed; Healy mentioned that the idea of having two reps per class – academic and social – might be an option. He also stated that the role needs to be ‘glamourised’. ‘In NUIG a show of hands elects the class rep and the main attraction of the job is the hoody. In UCD by contrast elections are a big deal, with flyering, manifestos – real campaigning goes on and a proper election is held. Reps get discounted tickets to SU events but the attraction really is in the prestige.’
But will mere glamorisation and more engagement from the SU change our failed system? Reps that are ‘afraid’ of some animated discussion may need more than a ticket to the SU Session to entice them into the dangerous war arena that is the SU Council. Some universities in England offer financial incentives for attending meetings; others offer free print credit, ECTS credits, and the Victoria University of Wellington in New Zealand even offers scholarships to those who have done exceptional work. But even if such progressive steps were taken, would the situation here improve?
If a vigorous discussion frightens a student representative and a rousing argument prevents you from attending Student Council ever again, the problem is not that the job isn’t glamorous enough. The problem is that the majority of our class representatives just don’t care, disrespect democracy and despise debate (except if it’s about the abolishment of Rag Week, of course). Strong words I know, but unfortunately true. Apathy reigns supreme in our university culture at the moment and empty SU councils simply prove this point; the challenge now lies with the SU to address this problem, make itself more relevant to the student population and teach us all by its own actions how important active, conscientious participation in student democracy is.

Ein Stern ist nur ein Loch in Himmel

This is a composition I wrote a few years ago for a German Creative Writing class. It's about a time when I was very down and felt terribly alone. I thought everything was over for me but then my eyes caught sight of the morning star shining out of a heavy black sky. Looking at it, I was suddenly transported into a place of beauty and happiness where nightmares were just unfortunate untrue dreams that quickly come and go. I reminded myself that the next time darkness comes, I must just search for the morning star. A star is just a peephole into heaven.

Der Stern

Ich bin allein, nur ich und eine grosse, unfreundliche Welt voller Dunkelheit und Einsamkeit. Es gibt kein Licht. Ich habe nie so tiefe Dunkelheit erlebt. Langsam versuche ich ein paar Schritte zu machen, aber kann keinen Boden unter meinen Fuessen fuhlen. Ich versuche verzweifelt etwas zu sehen, doch ich habe nur das furchtbare Gefuhl, von einer bedrohlichen, unerschoepflichen Grube umgeben zu sein. Ein eiskalter Wind weht – es geht durch meine Kleidung und schmerzt in meinen Knochen. Ich fuehle mich wie ein kleines Stueck Eis auf stuermischen Wasser. Ich rufe ‘Hallo!’ und warte aengstlich fuer ein Antwort. Aber ich hoere nichts – nur den Wind, den durch die Nacht heult und weint. Wo sind die Menschen? Ist noch niemand diesen Weg gegangen? Wasser ist auf meinen Gesicht und ich verstehe nicht, warum ich Salz schmecke. Bis ich realisiere, dass ich weine.


Voller Angst, sehe ich auf. Meine Augen blicken der unsichtbaren Grube hoch und suchen am Nachthimmel noch einmal nach einen Sterne.

Dann sehe ich ihn. Der Morgenstern. Es beleuchtet meine Welt wie die Sonne, den Mond und alle Sterne. Es ist schoen und waehrend ich ihn betrachte, scheint es mir, als waere ich ploetzlich in einer anderen Welt.

Hier ist es hell und warm und froehlich. Ich kann Lachen hoeren und Kinder spielen irgendwo. Hier gibts keine Geheimnisse, keine versteckte Gefahr. Der Wind weht auch, aber es ist nur eine Brise, frisch und voll mit dem Duft von Blumen. Alles ist farbig, die Sonne scheint, der Himmel ist blau und ohne Wolken. Ich mache meineAugen zu, und bin zufrieden, einfach die Waerme auf meinem Gesicht zu spueren. In der Naehe gibts einen Baum mit Fruechten, und ich nehme ein; die Suesse nimmt den Geschmack von Salz weg.

Mitten in meiner Freude, erinnere ich mich nur schwach die andere Welt.Den Albtraum. Wenn ich mich das naechste Mal verloren fuehle, muss ich einfach daran denken, nach dem Morgenstern zu suchen.

Ein Stern ist nur ein Loch in Himmel.

This is a poem I wrote a while back that I really like;)

In Praise of Dreams

They whisper as I walk by,
And marvel at the strangeness of one who dares to be different.
Some laugh, "Oh, it's just her again."
Others observe me closely, and attempt to put barriers around my thoughts.
They wish to tell me what to think, but
I rebel,
And revel in the inventions of a mind that refuses to be bound.

It’s worth it to be different.
For with dreams what might be becomes what is.
Fantasy is reality.
Future is present.

A man dreams and black and white become one.
A nation dreams and East and West become one.

The thin cows eat the fat cows and the sheaves all bow to one.

They whisper, ‘Behold the Dreamer.’
What an honour.