Ein Stern ist nur ein Loch in Himmel

This is a composition I wrote a few years ago for a German Creative Writing class. It's about a time when I was very down and felt terribly alone. I thought everything was over for me but then my eyes caught sight of the morning star shining out of a heavy black sky. Looking at it, I was suddenly transported into a place of beauty and happiness where nightmares were just unfortunate untrue dreams that quickly come and go. I reminded myself that the next time darkness comes, I must just search for the morning star. A star is just a peephole into heaven.

Der Stern

Ich bin allein, nur ich und eine grosse, unfreundliche Welt voller Dunkelheit und Einsamkeit. Es gibt kein Licht. Ich habe nie so tiefe Dunkelheit erlebt. Langsam versuche ich ein paar Schritte zu machen, aber kann keinen Boden unter meinen Fuessen fuhlen. Ich versuche verzweifelt etwas zu sehen, doch ich habe nur das furchtbare Gefuhl, von einer bedrohlichen, unerschoepflichen Grube umgeben zu sein. Ein eiskalter Wind weht – es geht durch meine Kleidung und schmerzt in meinen Knochen. Ich fuehle mich wie ein kleines Stueck Eis auf stuermischen Wasser. Ich rufe ‘Hallo!’ und warte aengstlich fuer ein Antwort. Aber ich hoere nichts – nur den Wind, den durch die Nacht heult und weint. Wo sind die Menschen? Ist noch niemand diesen Weg gegangen? Wasser ist auf meinen Gesicht und ich verstehe nicht, warum ich Salz schmecke. Bis ich realisiere, dass ich weine.


Voller Angst, sehe ich auf. Meine Augen blicken der unsichtbaren Grube hoch und suchen am Nachthimmel noch einmal nach einen Sterne.

Dann sehe ich ihn. Der Morgenstern. Es beleuchtet meine Welt wie die Sonne, den Mond und alle Sterne. Es ist schoen und waehrend ich ihn betrachte, scheint es mir, als waere ich ploetzlich in einer anderen Welt.

Hier ist es hell und warm und froehlich. Ich kann Lachen hoeren und Kinder spielen irgendwo. Hier gibts keine Geheimnisse, keine versteckte Gefahr. Der Wind weht auch, aber es ist nur eine Brise, frisch und voll mit dem Duft von Blumen. Alles ist farbig, die Sonne scheint, der Himmel ist blau und ohne Wolken. Ich mache meineAugen zu, und bin zufrieden, einfach die Waerme auf meinem Gesicht zu spueren. In der Naehe gibts einen Baum mit Fruechten, und ich nehme ein; die Suesse nimmt den Geschmack von Salz weg.

Mitten in meiner Freude, erinnere ich mich nur schwach die andere Welt.Den Albtraum. Wenn ich mich das naechste Mal verloren fuehle, muss ich einfach daran denken, nach dem Morgenstern zu suchen.

Ein Stern ist nur ein Loch in Himmel.

A World of Desert Islands

In Ireland, suicide rates are sadly soaring, especially among young men. I wrote this piece in the space of about an hour one Saturday afternoon as I stared into the embers of glowing fire in my cosy sitting-room. Now to put it into practice...

I’ve never been visited one, but from photographs they look idyllic; no human beings live upon them and many are devoid of even rough fisherman’s huts. Sometimes I simply want one of these beautiful desert islands all for myself - a little patch of palm-treed land in the middle of an azure blue sea, with golden sands and beautiful sunshine all day long. There time stands still; no appointments to keep, no lectures to attend, no questions to answer, no issues to be concerned about, no people to be bothered by...ah yes, on some of these dark, wet February days when I find it hard to believe that spring time really is here, I wish I had the wings of a bird and could fly away to my special place. The place where I choose everything myself and create my ideal world - my very own desert island.

But I know I'd soon tire of it. After about an hour, I would be walking to the edge of the soft, white sand and craning my eyes to see if there was anything interesting on the horizon, any ship I could call out to, any island I could swim to and explore. I would soon be restlessly pacing in the shade under the luscious palm trees, books thrown aside, sick and tired already of my own company. Why? Because no human being is designed to be - as John Donne so wonderfully put it – ‘an island unto himself’. Human beings are social creatures. Human beings are designed to relate to each other, to be interested in each other and to interact with each other in order to reach their potential.

Desert islands. Creating your dream life. Making everything fit perfectly, eliminating any distractions, any imperfections, anything annoying; pretending that the nasty things and the awkward people just don't exist; constantly reassuring yourself that the main thing that matters in this world is your own well-being. Deceive yourself if you want and ask the insolent question 'Am I my brother's keeper, my sister’s keeper? ' The fact is - you are; you have a responsibility for the person next to you – whether it's your brother, your sister, your friend, the girl in the tutorial that no-one wants to sit beside, the sad young man in the train station with his head in his hands, the stressed out mother, the lonely pensioner on the bus who never meets anyone from Monday through to Sunday - all humans, all part of this amazing yet terrible world, all unique individuals. Would you believe it if I said - ‘You have a responsibility for your fellow man'? Because, believe it or not, you do.

All you have to do is say hello, give a quick smile, listen to a rambling story, offer a word of encouragement, be there for a laugh and maybe some tears, send a text, press a 'like' button, retweet a tweet...or maybe you could go a bit further and ask 'How are you?' Don't accept the mere platitudes, the meaningless 'I'm fine', the talk of things like sport or the weather or what happened last night on Coronation Street that evade real, honest communication. In a country where suicide rates are soaring, don't stupidly believe it'll never happen to one of your classmates, one of your friends, one of the group of guys you always hang out with. Ask the question 'How are you?' and wait for the real answer – it will come if you wait long enough.

The desert island is attractive – but just for a little while. Remember it is a desert, and remember that no - one is an island unto him/herself. You are your brother's and your sister’s keeper.

Election 2011

Election fever has hit the country. Lampposts and gateways are decorated with huge posters and placards and various smiling faces look down at you all the time. Truth, honesty and integrity are recurring themes; some individuals promise so many good qualities one wonders whether they are human at all...that no-one is perfect is a common-accepted fact, yet some would-be politicians profess perfect characters and furthermore deny their actions of past months and years.

It has been said that this is the 3rd major crisis of the Irish state: the first was when Ireland was fighting for its independence from Britain, the second was the time of the Emergency and World War 2 and the third is now. Many possibilities loom before us - with principled leaders we could fight our way through the mire of depression to rise at some stage in my lifetime into a time of prosperity once again, without principled leaders we face the terrible prospect of becoming a slave country, a colonized province once again, the chattel of Europe. Irish people have a legacy of oppression, and yet a legacy of victory. The greedy arms of the Roman Empire never reached this little island that lay on the outskirts of Europe, and when that Empire fell, as it had to, Ireland preserved the tenets of civilization, lived up to its name of 'the Land of Saints and Scholars' and slowly helped a crippled Europe out of the despair of the Dark Ages. Today we remain that troublesome island - yet now it is for the shoddiness of our elected representatives that the world has an interest in us. These men who saw the quickest way of filling their own pockets as being the most important goal of their time in office have brought the country to its knees.

So what can be done? I for one am filled with a sense of disillusionment as I survey the current political prospects. My support is going to Martin Daly, an Independent Candidate who is running for election because he cares about the future of Ireland. But what can one man do? European power is not something to be treated lightly and the EU has a particular interest in the country of Ireland.

God moves in mysterious ways and He delights to use the small things of the world to confound the mighty. His ways are not our ways, and as we move to fulfill His commands and do the sometimes strange things He requires of us, there is hope in this one thing - He is in control and above all. God too is interested in Ireland, and beyond the speculations and plans of political parties, His purposes are being, and will be, worked out.

The only light in the window for those who love Ireland comes from an unshakable faith in God.