In Ireland, suicide rates are sadly soaring, especially among young men. I wrote this piece in the space of about an hour one Saturday afternoon as I stared into the embers of glowing fire in my cosy sitting-room. Now to put it into practice...
I’ve never been visited one, but from photographs they look idyllic; no human beings live upon them and many are devoid of even rough fisherman’s huts. Sometimes I simply want one of these beautiful desert islands all for myself - a little patch of palm-treed land in the middle of an azure blue sea, with golden sands and beautiful sunshine all day long. There time stands still; no appointments to keep, no lectures to attend, no questions to answer, no issues to be concerned about, no people to be bothered by...ah yes, on some of these dark, wet February days when I find it hard to believe that spring time really is here, I wish I had the wings of a bird and could fly away to my special place. The place where I choose everything myself and create my ideal world - my very own desert island.
But I know I'd soon tire of it. After about an hour, I would be walking to the edge of the soft, white sand and craning my eyes to see if there was anything interesting on the horizon, any ship I could call out to, any island I could swim to and explore. I would soon be restlessly pacing in the shade under the luscious palm trees, books thrown aside, sick and tired already of my own company. Why? Because no human being is designed to be - as John Donne so wonderfully put it – ‘an island unto himself’. Human beings are social creatures. Human beings are designed to relate to each other, to be interested in each other and to interact with each other in order to reach their potential.
Desert islands. Creating your dream life. Making everything fit perfectly, eliminating any distractions, any imperfections, anything annoying; pretending that the nasty things and the awkward people just don't exist; constantly reassuring yourself that the main thing that matters in this world is your own well-being. Deceive yourself if you want and ask the insolent question 'Am I my brother's keeper, my sister’s keeper? ' The fact is - you are; you have a responsibility for the person next to you – whether it's your brother, your sister, your friend, the girl in the tutorial that no-one wants to sit beside, the sad young man in the train station with his head in his hands, the stressed out mother, the lonely pensioner on the bus who never meets anyone from Monday through to Sunday - all humans, all part of this amazing yet terrible world, all unique individuals. Would you believe it if I said - ‘You have a responsibility for your fellow man'? Because, believe it or not, you do.
All you have to do is say hello, give a quick smile, listen to a rambling story, offer a word of encouragement, be there for a laugh and maybe some tears, send a text, press a 'like' button, retweet a tweet...or maybe you could go a bit further and ask 'How are you?' Don't accept the mere platitudes, the meaningless 'I'm fine', the talk of things like sport or the weather or what happened last night on Coronation Street that evade real, honest communication. In a country where suicide rates are soaring, don't stupidly believe it'll never happen to one of your classmates, one of your friends, one of the group of guys you always hang out with. Ask the question 'How are you?' and wait for the real answer – it will come if you wait long enough.
The desert island is attractive – but just for a little while. Remember it is a desert, and remember that no - one is an island unto him/herself. You are your brother's and your sister’s keeper.
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