Learning not to Run

He is always running. Always trying to be ahead. Never content as others are with the daily cycle of life, the comforting security of common structures. 

Even at birth he struggles. He fights his brother to be first, and when he doesn’t succeed then, he schemes and plans to win authority some other way. Defying tradition, he craftily acquires his brother’s inheritance and becomes possessor of the birthright. He is ever trying to prove himself, and is the victim of his mind’s continual deliberations.

It is on his flight from home, escaping the murderous intentions of his angry, mistreated brother, that he first comes face to face with the God of his father Isaac and his grandfather Abraham. With bare desert stone for a pillow beneath his head, his restless sleep is interrupted by the vision of a ladder and at the top One who speaks the words ‘…I am the LORD God of Abraham thy father and the God of Isaac; the land whereon thou liest, to thee will I give it and to thy seed…’ To the exiled son, the words are purest music to his ears. Is not this just what he desires most strongly? Power and glory?

And so, he continues to run, hectic and busy, along the road of his life. Yes, God has promised - he himself will make God’s promise true in his own life. And so, he slaves for his uncle, an equally sly individual, and cunningly gains wealth. He falls in love with his employer’s daughter, but ends up with his fiancée’s sister. Not willing to be thwarted from his true desires, his strength of character carries him through seven more long years of work and waiting. 

The years pass and soon it is time to move on. It seems as though the touch of God, obtained at the encounter at Bethel, has quickly worn away. Everyday routine and the continual mental calculations and devising all have their effect on a spiritual life. He leaves his uncle suddenly and silently - unawares - and travels out into the darkness. He leaves like a thief in the night when he was appointed the heir of the world. He is seeing the fulfillment of God’s promise - on his own terms. He is surrounded by blessing yet inside his soul is shadowed, still untouched by the hand of God. 

The procession reaches a river and there as they halt, news comes that the aggrieved brother is approaching, still looking for revenge. Once again they move on under the cover of the ever-present night. For this man, the darkness has become a most important part of his life. 

All the family, the flocks and the herds, pass over the river and the man remains behind. As the dust once again settle and the ripples wash themselves out of the murky water, he is forced to stand still. For the first time in his life, the running has stopped. He comes face to face, again, with the One who met him so many years before on a similar night. This time though, its not just words that are spoken. Not just promises proclaimed by a distant Figure looking down from heaven.  This time there is no ladder, no space between the Holy One and the schemer. This time, there is no hindrance. God presses on to the great end He has in view for this man - this worm. It is a scene no human eye can watch: the crisis of a man clasped in the very arms of God.

Morning breaks. Dawn rises on this long night. If you watch closely, you will see a man walk into the sunrise. He looks familiar, yet at the same time he looks entirely different. He is moving slowly. He is limping. 

Across a face etched with deep pain is an expression of deep and lasting peace. 

I watch and nearby I hear someone ask ‘ Is that Jacob, the ambitious deceiver?’

The answer comes, solemn, clear, ‘No, that is Israel: for as a prince, he has power with God and with men, and has prevailed’.

The years slip by and after a full, eventful life,  the time comes for this man to bless his grandsons. ‘God, which fed me all my life long unto this day, the Angel which redeemed me from all evil, bless the lads’. 

And the man, who fought so long to fulfill God’s promise by himself, who was known as the deceiver, who made enemies of those closest to him, who knew so well what it was like to run in his own strength, now worships God - his Father -  ‘leaning upon the top of his staff’.